In April Clark and I prepared for my mom and little sister to visit from Germany. They were coming for my birthday as well as my older sister’s graduation from Roanoke College in VA. We had a fun-filled planned vacation, but my mom and little sister were not prepared for Homespun Hills.
The other thing that we all weren’t prepared for?
Possessiveness.
When my mom and little sister visited, all of a sudden I was possessive of everything. After all, it was our house. I was angry when they insulted anything, upset when they didn’t consult me about their plans (even if I was in class).
The first visit of my family coming to stay with us did not go as smoothly as planned.
My mom and little sister arrived shortly before my birthday. The plans we had for while they were “in town” was simply to go to the outlet stores up the mountain. Mom said she would take me on a mini-shopping trip for my birthday, and my little sister wanted me to help her pick out some clothes.
Well, the day after they arrived I left my house key with them and went to class. My mom wanted to run a few errands, and she needed the house key, obviously, to get back in.
Well, when I returned from class my mom and little sister were gone.
Clark had one key, and they had the other. Luckily, one of our windows didn’t lock, so I took my time (this wasn’t the first time) maneuvering the window to get it open and get in to the house.
I was furious.
I had told them what time I was done with class, and had thought we were going shopping when I got home. Mom said she just wanted to go here and there and would be back in time. How could they be so inconsiderate?
Between 30 minutes to an hour later they walked in carrying shopping bags.
I started spouting.
I gave them evil looks and wondered what on earth had happened. I thought we were all going shopping together. Did they forget what time my classes were over? I had to break in to my own apartment because they were out doing something we were supposed to be doing together!
After my mom explained and my little sister cried, we all settled down. However, this was only the beginning.
My birthday was on a Friday that year, but we had decided to drive to the outer banks for the weekend. We couldn’t leave until around 4, though, because Clark had to work. Though he assured us we’d get there in good time, mom didn’t know good time still meant 11:30pm.
The whole way there she muttered about his driving under her breath. It took all of Clark to keep his patience, and most of the time all of him lost.
When we first stopped for gas, and Clark asked mom to fill up, there was a conflict. Clark spilled out the how much we really had in our bank account, and then I was furious for letting my mother know how destitute we were.
Oh, how the list goes on.
While the weekend at the beach went very well, it was later that the true blow up occurred.
When we returned I had exams to take and we were going to have a “real” birthday celebration with a cake and such. While I was studying, my mom decided to invite our neighbor over for the birthday celebration. While I appreciated her thoughtfulness, I was annoyed.
I wanted my birthday to be with my family, only. After all, they were there for it— why did we have to invite our 40 year old neighbor who we saw everyday?
I started yelling.
I was yelling about my birthday, about my exams, about mom and Molly not respecting our house— everything.
I then commenced to tell our neighbor that my mom wasn’t feeling well and would he mind if we just sent over some food. My mom emerged from the apartment and started yelling at me, in front of our neighbor, telling me not to lie.
Our poor neighbor.
Clark pulled us in to the apartment and played peace maker, which was surprising because he and my mom had been complaining about each other to me just earlier that day. We then went back to apologize to our neighbor after Clark had calmed us down.
While the visit ended up being wonderful, it was a lesson-learning experience.
*I learned that my mother is always going to be my mother, even in my house.
*I learned that Clark and I still had a lot of growing up to do before we were ready for relatives to stay with us.
*I learned that Clark and I had to establish ourselves as our own entity, our own family.
*I learned that my parents, and Clark’s parents, still had a lot of accepting to do.
*I learned that everything was going to take time.
*I learned that everything would be OK as long as we kept putting God first.
So, this post probably isn’t as entertaining as the last few. I must say that while the visit still sticks out in my mind, I can’t remember a lot of the details. I can’t remember my exact words or my mother’s, I can’t remember Clark’s attitude before or after he played peace maker, and I can’t remember exactly all that my neighbor had to endure.
What I can remember is that we got through it. We survived the first visit of others that were to come, and I finished my first spring semester of college.
We had no idea what was on our schedules for the next year.
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