Shocking, I know. Well, maybe not really.
The past few weeks, maybe months, it's been touch-and-go in our house. One minute we have visitors, the next our house is empty, save Michael and myself, of course. It's made it a bit difficult to get used to our surroundings.
Ok, so, that's my fault.
I've been moping.
There. I said it.
While I'm really trying to get used to our new place, location, and weather (105, anyone?), I really find myself missing 'home'. Though I moved most of my childhood, we settled in to North Carolina when I was in eighth grade, and I was blessed to stay there through high school, college, and Michael's first couple years. Now that we've moved again, which I was once accustomed to, I realize just how hard it is.
When you're in school, you make friends during moves because you're forced into an environment which molds that. Once you're out into the real world though, it's a lot harder. Especially if you don't work, and your husband's work takes him from home regularly so he doesn't really have a work-network for you.
That leaves church for us, but we haven't found a church that feels right. I remind myself that when we moved for Clark's schooling in NC, it took me a year to really make friends and find a church home. Here we are six months in, in Arizona and I'm feeling desperate. At least in the beginning in Brevard, Clark was home. Now I'm on my own. I mean, I'm not, but I am.
I know that God brought us here for a reason. During the end of 2013 we knew we were due for changes. Living where we were in NC, we were kind of stuck. Clark couldn't advance in work, and without advancing we couldn't see ourselves ever being able to expand our family. When it came time between finding out where we would be come 2014, it took a lot of prayer and a lot of patience. I didn't want to move, but I was certain God had something in store for our family.
Well, my certainty faded and faded the longer we were here and the more I felt abandoned. While visitors came to stay, they always had to leave. I just didn't know what I was supposed to be doing other than caring for Michael and going about our day-to-day routine.
Honestly, I still don't. I'm still searching, still praying, still trusting.
I have to constantly remind myself that God has a plan.
God has a plan. God has a plan. God has a plan.
I don't mean to sound whiny. I know my life isn't awful. I know I am so incredibly blessed. Not just because of the family, friends, and things I do have-- but, mainly, because I have Christ in my life. Through Him all things are possible.
So why does life seem so hopeless at times?
I'm not sure I have the answer to the question, but I wanted you to know that I'm striving to do more, focus on my blessings, and give back in any way I know how to.
This blog, it helps me give back, even if I'm only reaching a tiny corner of people in the world.
Keep me in your prayers, friends, and thank you for sticking with me.
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