Wedding Shower Madness6:00 AM
Saturday Michael and I ventured to a wedding shower. He was my "hot date" since Clark is out of town, and boy was that interesting.
It's the wedding of two of our good friends, and Michael and I just happen to be in it.
I must confess I get really self conscious when I go to an event without Clark. More specifically, when that event is made up of more people I don't know than I do. This was one of those situations. Why do I get this way? Well, I'm a young mom... and I tend to feel very judged. I may not be whatsoever, but if anyone glances my way with the slightest hint of disapproval or question... I lose it.
To make matters worse in a situation I was already dreading, when I went to the bathroom to change from my jean-shorts and t-shirt to my adorable dress, the zipper broke. I completely lost it. Here I was an hour from home with no change of clothes, husbandless, with a wild-child who didn't want to listen to anything I had to say (especially if it involved the word "no"). It didn't matter that I had come prepared with three changes of clothes for Michael, snacks galore, and toys to keep him busy... I had to face a room full of strangers in my casual clothes without a sliver of confidence as to why I was there by myself.
I cried in the bathroom. I know, I'm horrible. And selfish. Horribly selfish.
Like any girl would do, I called my mom. After offering a few solutions (none of which were possible, sadly), she prayed with me over the phone. She reminded me that I was there for my friends, and to go out there and be there for my friend.
I still struggled. Michael was high energy and wanted in to everything, including the gifts. While he didn't seem to be bothering our friends, I noticed a few guests glancing around as if to question where mom and dad were. I also had a few of them ask Michael, "Where's your dada?" I felt so petty when thinking, Why don't you ask someone who can actually answer that question? It also didn't help that the only other child there (who is two months younger than Michael, the bride's little sister, and a flower girl) was so calm and quiet barely anyone knew there was another toddler in the house.
I had to keep saying silent prayers and reminding myself that it wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. That bride, groom, and their families were being so loving and understanding (even if I kept perceiving them to be otherwise), and I was strong even if my husband wasn't with me.
Because there's always someone with me, and He can do much more than Clark ever could... including using the opportunity for a lesson.
I stopped focusing on myself and started focusing on who the event was for. In the end, even if I was still a little grumpy and tired, I was so thankful I stayed and celebrated my friends.
Do you have certain situations that you dread facing alone, or just facing at all? How do you tend to handle them?