Three Words: Shower, Bath, Poop.

10:37 AM

This morning Clark woke before the sun to hit the road for a day full of climbing with some classmates. Dada thought it would be a good idea to make some noise to wake up his almost-six-month-old son to say good-bye to him.

Michael and I were out of bed by 6:45am after Clark woke him up around six. Not too shabby, if you ask me, even if we normally aren't out of bed until 7:45am.

After his typical morning routine, I was at a loss for some things to do. Michael was not in the playful mood, nor was he sleepy enough to go down for his morning nap just yet. So, I thought I'd give him a bath.

Lately Michael and I have been taking baths together. It's a way for me to at least rinse off on days that I don't get to do the full shower. But today I had an idea.

In our new duplex, we have a somewhat older bathtub. It's deeper, longer, and all around wonderful if I actually got to use it for a bubble bath of my own. Today I had the idea to put Michael's baby bathtub at one end and run the shower on the other. This way I could still get a good rinse, wash my hair, and all the while have Michael safely at the other end of the bathtub with my eyes on him. (I promise it was completely safe.)

So, I ran the bath water, put Michael in his tub with just enough in it so he would stay warm and enjoy himself, and started the shower water for me. I was watching Michael as I wet my hair... and all of a sudden heard some bubbles and realized that he was making his "poop face".

Oh, yes.

What was my response?

Please excuse me... I said, "Oh, crap."

Under the circumstances, it is mildly entertaining.

Quickly I lifted my perfectly content son out of the bath water that was now full of poop. Not sure what to do, considering he still had his concentrated look, we were both nude, and I had no way of knowing when his next load would be released... I just stood there under the running water.

It wasn't too long before I realized he was pooping again... this time on me.

As quickly as I could I held Michael out over his already poop infested whale of a tub.

I waited a while to make sure he was completely done before rinsing his bottom off as well as my arm, leg, and foot.

I turned off the shower, wrapped Michael in a towel, and got half dressed. What to do with his bathtub? I certainly couldn't just pour it down the drain of our bathtub. I looked around... then I thought of the toilet.

I very carefully picked up his bathtub and commenced pouring portions of it into the toilet.

Pour, Flush, Repeat.

This took some time.

I then used his poop sprayer to spray out our bathtubs to clean them as thoroughly as possible.

All the while Michael was lying on the bathroom rug squealing with delight. Apparently he found this all to bevery entertaining.

After successfully sanitizing everything that had any contact with Michael's poop... we tried the plan again. Filled his bathtub, put it at the end of mine, ran the shower water, commenced to clean us up (especially considering we both, at one point, had baby feces all over us).

So, although my original idea turned out to be a success, I have learned a few things from this experience.

1. Since Michael typically poops at some point in the morning, make sure to give him every opportunity to do so before climbing into the bathtub/shower with him/ putting him in his bathtub.

2. Never take anything too seriously. I could have easily gotten way over worked/stressed in this situation, but I remained calm and laughed at myself. After all, I can finally say Michael has peed, spit up, drooled, and pooped on me. Woo hoo!

3. When Clark leaves for a trip, make sure he does not attempt to wake Michael up to say good-bye to him unless Michael is of an age where he truly understands what's going on.

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