For the past year I have felt pretty spoiled. This is not because of extra purchases I have made or received or anything like that. I have felt extraordinarily blessed because of the church home I've become a part of.

When we first moved to our little mountain town, I had some trouble making friends and finding a niche. The first thing we did was visit a local church, and I adored the music, admired the preaching, and thought it could be a really good fit. But when I started trying to contact teams/ministers about getting involved (small group, worship team, you name it), I didn't hear back from anyone. And that's not an exaggeration. I e-mailed several people, tried calling the offices... nothing. I didn't hear back. And though we had met one other couple who was due with baby #1 just like we were, they were also more than ten years older than us. People we became acquainted with seemed to talk down to us and treat us like children, as though we were one of those families. And I must confess, it made me really angry. Going to church became harder and harder, and we made more and more excuses.

Fast forward a year. Michael did a month of preschool and we made one awesome couple-friend who invited us to another church. With Clark's job changing and him being gone much more, I knew I needed to find something more to do. After all, my one local friend had a full-time job and a little girl Michael's age. She wasn't going to be available 24/7. I needed more.

I went to church with my friend two weeks in a row. The next week she invited me again, but then ended up not going because she didn't feel good. I went anyway, and even ventured to the front of the church after the service to talk to the music director. That evening, I e-mailed about small groups and got a response within 24 hours. I registered for the women's Bible study starting in January. I was overwhelmed with the Holy Spirit moving me, and just knew that this was going to be home.

When I started the women's Bible study, I was extraordinarily nervous. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if there were going to be any women my age. I didn't know if I was going to enjoy going, or end up making excuses to skip out and continue being miserable. I had no idea.


But now, almost a year later, I'm still going. And over the summer when there was a break, the young moms in the group made sure to meet up as many times as possible to keep our friendship, fellowship, and encouragement going.

Only two of the amazing women I have met are pictured, but there are at least three other young moms and a countless number of other women who I have grown to love and cherish. Not only the women from the Bible study, but the praise team members I have served with and everyone else at the church who has welcomed me in countless ways... I always feel so overwhelmed when I think of my church.

Finding a church that is right for you is so important for your relationship with Christ. Without fellowship and other Christians to lean on... well, take it from someone who was there for a long time-- it sucks. I find I worry less and praise more these days, and isn't that how it's supposed to be?

This Thursday, I am thankful for my personal church home and for all churches that truly have open doors, hearts, and arms for new members. What are you thankful for?

As promised last month, Jenny is a prime example of someone keeping faith. She and her husband had a call directly from God, and it wasn't until they fully trusted Him that what they wanted to do with their life really decided to fall into place.

Please make sure when you're done reading to follow the link to her and her husband's page and donate to their amazing cause. They are able to continue their work by people supporting them, and after reading their story I can't see a better cause to support.

I won't keep you. Here's Jenny.


My husband and I are like any other married couple. We like to play board games and have date nights in, we like to go on walks and fish with our 5-year old puppy by our side, and we like to be around our friends and family for dinners and get togethers. Married for a year and a half, we are your average couple together and separate. I say this because the only thing different about our lives is how an extraordinary God uses our ordinary selves to do great things.

My husband and I are disaster relief missionaries. If you are like 99% of the people we tell that to, you are thinking, "That's not a thing." My answer to that is always the same: 'Take that up with God, because he called us to it."

On May 17th, 2013 my husband and I gave our lives completely and fully over to the Lord with just $100 in our bank account and not a cent in our savings. We had been on a three year planning stage, with the end result being hitting the mission field full time. We both had a heart for missions, and met doing relief work after Hurricane Katrina, but it was a relief trip to Nashville, Tennessee 3 years prior that sealed our fate.

It was there, after a month-long trip, in a church pew on Sunday that I looked over and saw my husband sitting down, head lowered as the band played around us and I knew that God was speaking to him. Afterwards he told me that he just felt God saying, "This is going to be your life."

Insert my type-A, planning mode self in here. I had a plan to get us out on the road full time by the next year. We would move back to Mississippi, where we met and where our home church was, get jobs and work our tail feathers off to save up the money to pay off our debt and have a nice soft savings plan to fall back on in case, ya know, God got busy or something.

God doesn't do back up plans, or big, cushy savings plans. So, try as we may for three years, we didn't get anywhere. God simply would not Bless it, because we weren't trusting Him.

When we would get a raise, the car would break. Get a tax refund, have a medical problem. As quick as it would come in, it would leave.

Defeated and dejected, we moved back to Maryland and finished the interior of my father-in-laws workshop in the back of his yard and made it into an efficiency apartment. We spent a month looking for jobs until finally Kurt landed a job at a car detail shop. Within just two weeks, they promoted him to manager.

That night we sat in the car in the driveway, looking at our unfinished workshop/home and finally uttered the words we both had been too afraid to say out loud. "Maybe we aren't meant to do this until we retire", thinking back to our trips where we were usually the youngest by a few decades or so.

God took our defeat and turned it around the very next day.

I was cleaning the house, all 200sq feet of it, with the weather on in the background, when a report of a tornado in Grandbury, Texas came across the television. I stood, broom in hand, and listened to the reports, wondering if our time to respond would ever come.

God spoke to me, for the first time in my life, in a voice I could feel not hear.

"Go, and go now." He said.

Hold up. We just moved to Maryland and my husband JUST got promoted to a decent wage. This was our chance to get ahead, save some money, get out of debt, etc... and you want us to give it up and go?

He didn't answer me but put someone on my heart, a dear friend who I met in Nashville on that fateful trip 3 years ago. We had kept in touch on Facebook, so I messaged her and told her what just happened, but then listed the 600 reasons why I could not just go.

She answered, quickly and simply.

"You always answer the call"

That's it. I sat down and prayed and told God that if he wanted us to make this work, it would be up to Him and Him alone. I was giving Him full control.

Kurt came home for lunch break, and I unloaded the news onto him. He sat quietly for a moment, slowly chewing his lunch and thinking.

"Okay" he said, "Let's do it"


Since that day, we have been completely sustained by God alone. When we run into a need, we pray about it. We fall fully into the arms of our creator and he blesses us in return.

We have been able to call many places home since that day. Moore, Oklahoma where an EF-5 tornado sliced through the tight knit town and left them broken. Black Forest, Colorado where a forest fire left the area nothing but pain and ash. Kingsport, Tennessee and Catawba County, North Carolina where flash flooding soiled the memories and fibers of people's homes. And most recently, Boulder County, Colorado where a massive flood changed a community forever.

In these times, we do as God commanded us. We love each person as He loved us first. We show them kindness and compassion as we help them salvage these homes and belongings. We tell them about the man who paid it all, so that they may know love.

Our lives are different in so many ways, but that is only because of the control we give God over it. We are proof that he uses average people for His glory and propels them to do things they never thought possible.

If you would like to follow our journey and see what God is doing in the wake of unimaginable disaster, follow us at Mortonmissions.com.

I have a hard time focusing on the "here". As in, I'm always looking forward to something else. I'm always looking to the "there". Do you have the same problem?

As I mentioned in a personal post last month, we're going through a challenging period as a family. Clark tends to be gone more than he's home, and every time he's gone for a long stretch (we're a little over a month right now), I start imagining life when he's home for longer periods of time. I start thinking about "there", wishing that time would pass quickly by so it will be the first week of November, or will be a year or two later when we are at a different stage of life (hopefully).

When that happens I have to stop, breathe, and turn to God.

One of the worst words to me is "wait". At my women's Bible study right now we're doing Twelve Women of the Bible, and we just went through Amena Brown talking about Hannah. She said the word "wait" should be put in with all the other four-letter-words, and I would have to agree with her. I feel like I've done nothing but waiting for the past six years.

We waited for me to finish college, and I did.

We waited for things to work out so we could move and Clark could start school, and they did.

We waited for Michael to be born, and he was.

We waited for Clark to be in school, and he was.

We waited for Clark to get a job because he could no longer do school, and he did.

We are waiting for a different job, so we can be together as a family more consistently.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

You see what I mean? But in-between all of that waiting, we were flooded with blessings and plans that were clearly not our own unfolding. So many things that we wanted didn't work out and then we experienced better. So many things we weren't expecting happened but God saw us through them. Sometimes, when we're in another waiting room, I forget all the wonderful that we saw before when we were so anxiously focusing on where we were rather than what was happening due to God's Grace.

So what do you do when you're sick of waiting? When it feels like what you want is never going to come, and you want to scream and cry and get angry at God?

Stop, breathe, and cry out to Jesus.

I've touched on this before, but see these words of wisdom from Amena Brown.

"God doesn't want your happy face. He wants your real face. He wants you to be honest. He can handle it."

Waiting, well... it sucks. But what we have to keep reminding ourselves is that if we always focus on the "there", we really are missing out on some extraordinary things that are happening here and now.

When crying out doesn't seem like enough, whip out a sheet of paper (or open a note on your phone, or a document on your computer, or whatever) and start listing things you're thankful for. Ann Voskamp who wrote One Thousand Gifts had many life struggles, and turning to God and really putting in perspective just how blessed you are always reminds you that what you're waiting on, well... it can wait. God's timing is THE timing. It's not always never easy for me to remember that. But if I have learned anything over the past few years, it's that I really am blessed and I have so much to be thankful for.

I am thankful for Clark, Michael, for my friends, my family, and for Clark having a job. Without having things to do and people to share this life with, I really don't know what I'd do. Almost two weeks ago we had this sweet outing to a local park with two of our closest friends, and it just opened my eyes to the fact (once again), that all moments count for something.

For my fall moms/wives of the month(s), I wanted to do another theme. Having done clean eating over the summer, it seemed only appropriate to find something else to stick with for seasons. I tired to think deep down what I would like to share, or have others share, and I immediately came to this:

Keeping faith in hard circumstances.

As you know from previous posts, this is close to my heart because we've been going through a few patches on and off for... well... ever. Lately it just seems like it's been worse.

As I started to seek out women to write and share with you, I realized that I haven't exactly been completely truthful with y'all. I mean, I want these women to get on here and share stories that could make them feel very vulnerable, and yet I wasn't sharing anything completely personal myself. I felt like a hypocrite. I then decided I would start the little series, in hopes that maybe I can encourage others (and myself).

Clark and I got married young. You may remember this from my Married in College series. I stopped sharing these stories after a while, but may continue them again at some point. It started to get too hard to look back on these times of trial and not feel certain emotions (anger, disappointment, embarrassment). While all these times were not trials, it seemed all the times and tales that came to mind were. Perhaps because they made us stronger, or maybe because I have a completely different view of them now a few years later. Still, I stopped. I felt like I was exposing myself more and more with them.

When we found out we were pregnant with Michael, we honestly didn't know what to do. I was about to graduate college, and we were supposed to be moving so Clark could finish his own degree at a different institution. We were faced with a decision. Still move, baby on the way, and trust that Clark could finish school... or "plan" and find Clark a practical job that would provide for his family. We went with moving, trusting that God would provide.

And provide He did.

The first year Clark was in school and Michael was growing, it was extremely difficult. Loaded down with schoolwork and work, Clark was doing his best to do it all so I could stay home with Michael. Though I searched for jobs, it was all half-heartedly done. The last thing I wanted to do was put my son in daycare and go to work, so selfishly I thought it was my right to stay home and let Clark go to school. What you should know with this, is I was providing from home. Even though Clark was working, we never would have made it without me deciding to put money I had inherited towards our well-being.

But after that first year things were getting tougher. Clark was distracted with my ever-nagging voice about money because my inheritance was running out. While I looked for work and found some successfully, none of it was enough for Clark to stop working or to balance out childcare. We were feeling more and more trapped again, and just couldn't figure out to do. We turned to God... but we felt like we were met with silence.

Clark withdrew from school, found a few small jobs, and we prayed for a better one to be provided.

In November our prayers were answered. Straight after our Thanksgiving he packed his bags and was told he'd see us in a month or so. He was not home again until Christmas. Since then his job (working on cellular towers) has been consistently inconsistent. He's gone anywhere from four to eight weeks at a time, usually only coming home when he has to for his USMC-R duty. As he realized he was missing more and more with Michael, and as Michael became more and more involved (and, may I say, demanding)... while we were grateful for his job, we started wondering if things would ever change again.

Here we are in a city with no family. While we have a good church and some very amazing friends, Clark being gone definitely takes its toll. I find myself wishing I could drive over to my sister's house, or call my parents to come take Michael for a couple hours just so I can get my haircut or go to the grocery store by myself. Clark comes home tired and needing rest, and instead he's bombarded with love from Michael and me and never quite catches up. It's the same with me. I find myself even more tired after Clark leaves than when he came home because we have jammed so many things into the time he was home.

We're all tired, grumpy, and not happy campers when Dada's work truck arrives and he waves good-bye again.

We started praying for change. Many things have presented themselves that felt so right, only to fall through and not happen. Again and again and again we find ourselves flat on our faces, and each time we feel heavier and heavier as we pick ourselves up. Many times we forgot to look to God to carry us, and in those times it has not been pretty. Even now we find ourselves constantly battling with God and feeling abandoned.

We question Him. Present Him with our trials and listen, demanding an answer. While I know that I can't demand things of God, and don't deserve His amazing love or the sacrifice and love of His Son in the first place... I get angry. I bang my fists at the silence, cry, and wait.

Two Bible verses give me the most comfort in times like these. I share them with you because even when I don't want to keep the faith, I find myself repeating them aloud over, and over, and over. They remind me that no matter how alone I may feel, I'm not. They remind me that no matter how upset I may be that I cannot plan things or know the future, God has a plan because He created my future. It amazes me that this isn't reassurance enough... but my fickle, human heart always seems to want more.

Here are my verses.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge HIM and HE will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

My friends, if you are facing any kind of struggle, remember to cry out to Jesus. Check back here in October and November for some more encouragement and stories from two amazing women.

Dear Past Week, You have been fun and stressful all at the same time. Thank you for the perfect weather.

Dear Next Week, Please prove to be not as stressful and let Michael and I get back to our typical routine. Let Michael start sleeping through the night (in his own room, if possible), and help me be in a better mood during the day (even if I'm still lacking sleep).

Dear Michael, I have had SO MUCH FUN with you these past few days outside.



With the weather improving, I know we're going to have a wonderful spring/summer spending most of the days outside. I promise I will try to stay in a good mood and not worry about the house being 100% 50% 25% clean. Playing and enjoying these wonderful moments with you is what's most important, after all.

Dear Readers, Thank you for all your encouragement and feedback this week. This next week I'm intending on sharing our Easter pictures (finally), as well as some from our family trip to the zoo. And, of course, new recipes.

Have a happy weekend! Do you have any awesome plans?


The idea for this post came from Ashley over at The Sweet Season.

I know I have several posts on my body-after-baby and getting in shape and clean eating and so on and so forth and so on....

Yeah. I know.

Part of it is because body care is so important to me. Sometimes you wouldn't know it. I mean, it's not like I'm some built muscular female, or a super thin model, but I do try to pay attention to what goes into my body. What's good for you. What's not. This is not to say I don't enjoy my pizza or ice cream like any other person. I just... I try.

But the key word in all of that is try.

I am not the person for anyone to look to when it comes to clean eating. My 100 Days of Real Food journey ended at about 30. I was so tired and got sick of trying to make everything myself and keep up with it all, that I gave up. I hate hearing the excuse that, "eating organic is too expensive"... but I was making that excuse. It didn't matter that the site has a budget-friendly plan... I was tired. Trying to get Michael to eat all these new foods (that are clearly better for him than his Gerber puffs) and fighting him on all of it was sucking all my energy, so I gave up.

You may remember when I did the one post on Made to Crave. I was so into it and realizing this journey that I felt God was putting before me, which inspired my 100 Days of Real Food kick. Well, exhaustion and taking part in multiple Bible studies and getting involved and making friends lead me away from the book. I stopped looking at it like a spiritual journey and thought, "I will accept my body, and in time it will return to where I want it to be."

Well, as we all know our bodies don't magically change. It does take work. Being active and healthy is a lifestyle choice, not just something that happens overnight.

Then I found this verse:
Photo taken from the Proverbs 31 Ministries Facebook Page.

Now, I'm sure that this verse has multiple meanings on so many different levels, but it spoke to me about my eating and exercise habits. If I don't take care of my body, what does that mean with my relationship with God?

This is where I was headed with my Made to Crave. Food is a struggle with me. It always has been. Since I was little I have battled over-eating and emotionally-eating and more. When I am in a hard situation, or have had a bad day, I honestly don't turn to God most of the all the time. I turn to food. Cookies, chips, chocolate chips, bread, juice... it doesn't even have to be something I really, truly want or like. If it's in the house, it's fair game.

What does this mean about my relationship with God?

It means I'm cheating on Him with food.

Maybe you disagree, and maybe you're rolling your eyes. All I can say, is that lately I've really been fighting this battle again. I have yet to figure out if I'm winning or losing.

The pint of strawberries and 1/4 bag of chocolate chips that's missing from last night to me says I'm losing. But that could be me being too hard on myself...maybe?

This is not a post about promising a new diet fad, or saying I'm picking up the "real food" challenge again. It's simply me confessing one of the hardest things I'm always facing: food.

Food. I love food. I love cooking, baking, photographing, and eating it. It is an indulgence that I always give into.

For my #TBT I'm sharing three pictures of me at my "best". Times where I was exercising daily, eating healthy foods, and paying attention to my body in general. While these pictures (and others) offer motivation sometimes, it isn't enough. I think keeping in mind that I want to keep my body healthy and available for God's use is, but it is something I must remind myself daily. This isn't just about food. For me, it's a spiritual battle. Choosing God over the deceptively delicious packaged foods that offer "comfort" when I'm struggling.


What do you struggle with the most?

I'm alive! Sorry for week and some change of not blogging. Every now and then you fall behind, or need a break, of both.

Michael and I have still been on our journey of 100 days of real food. I must admit that we've had on and off days. Some switches are so easy and others are ridiculously hard.

Of course, Michael doesn't really seem to notice. He still gets to eat what he eats. I even spoil him with gerber dinners every now and then. Something I wish I could replicate with this challenge. How do you make perfectly cubed chicken for your child? If someone knows, please tell me. The only way he'll eat meat seems to be in this little packaged dinner. I mean, he doesn't have to eat meat, but I just don't understand it.

The trick has actually been finding things Michael will eat over what I will eat. For example, he doesn't like eggs. He doesn't really eat meat. So I find to find things to make him along with what I make myself.

My favorite thing I've made thus far since the last post? The homemade whole wheat tortillas. They are truly addicting. And I don't feel rotten when I eat them, like I do store-bought tortillas. I have used them with fajitas, quesadillas, and even homemade BLT wraps. Of course, the turkey bacon isn't on the list of approved foods, I don't think. This is also before I added the tomato.

They [the whole wheat tortillas] are truly wonderful. Please check out the recipe here.

We are still cheating on some things. For instance, I may have made some M&M cookies. I'm pretty sure M&Ms aren't preservative free or anything like that. And Friday night we had company and we ordered pizza. I couldn't help myself.

I think that our ultimate goal with this is to really give up major things. Like, fast food (drive-throughs and frozen foods) and all the sugary nonsense. I want to raise Michael to make healthy choices, and therefore I've really been trying to pay attention to what is in what we eat. It's rather astounding when I go to buy something, look at the ingredients, and see how much is in something so simple! I've also made the new rule that if I'm not willing to make it, then we don't need it. Of course, rules are broken every now and then (*cough*pizza*cough*)... but I've really been trying to stick to it.

My favorite sweet treat that makes me feel like I'm not cheating and overdoing it is Greek Yogurt with chocolate chips. Whether it's plain or vanilla, I absolutely love it. You can even stick it in the freezer to make it a little more like frozen yogurt (well, it is... but you know what I mean). You know when you get a blizzard or milkshake and then you stick it in the freezer because you don't finish the whole thing? Well, the yogurt has THAT sort of texture. It's not super soft and "fluffy" or creamy, but it works. You can also make it resemble cookie dough ice cream and add 1 tbsp peanut butter and a little extra vanilla extract. Use honey to sweeten if you do it this way! See a picture of it through my instagram account.

I decided for 2013 this is something I really wanted to take part in. It's a way to share certain thoughts that maybe don't get whole blog posts, or review things that are on my mind in one post. Whatever way you look at it, it's another way to get personal with y'all. And I love that.

Dear 2013, I am so excited for you. We're on Day [4] and already I just have wonderful feelings about your potential. Maybe this is a "hangover" from the fresh start you have offered, but I intend to seize the feeling and hold on to it for all [361] days that I have left of you. I have so many things I want to accomplish and work on, but ultimately it comes down to just living and enjoying you.


Dear Friends, There are a few of you who I have become so close to, or closer to, as of late. I cannot tell you what this means to me. Clark's new job has added a great amount of stress (although I am so thankful for it) and you help relieve it. Your encouragement and companionship mean the world to me. Thank you.

Dear Journal, I promise to revisit you soon. Sometimes I think I avoid you in fear that I have nothing *substantial* to write, but I should know by now that writing isn't about making things pretty or perfect, it's about writing in my unique voice.


Dear Sweets, I'm very ready to be at the point where I can pass you by without a second thought. Chocolate, candies, baked goods, carbs (in general)... you are constantly at the forefront of my mind. I'm doing my very best to confront you and turn my cravings towards God, but it seems this journey is a lot harder than I anticipated. Please help me out by staying away, or at least somehow start tasting like something gross so I don't want you so badly.

Dear Blog, I must admit I have high hopes for you this coming year. There are many times that I get down because I've been writing for around two years and still don't even have 50 followers, but I'm working on reminding myself that I started you for me. You are a way to keep track of my life and day-to-day projects that I may want to look back on in the future. You are a witness to my life, in a sense. Whether there are 35 followers (who I am so grateful for) or 350, I am going to continue to write.

The idea for this post came from Ashley, of The Sweet Season.

Congratulations Katie M. from Standpipe & Sprinkles for winning the wonderful giveaway from Diana Meredith Designs! You can contact Diana through her facebook to receive your $10 credit to her etsy shop! For the rest of you, make sure to check it out, still. Diana really has some beautiful creations!

Happy New Year!

Like I said yesterday, I'm so excited for 2013. Because Clark and I decided it is going to be "our year", we thought it only appropriate we stay up until midnight. We're paying for it this morning, since Michael woke up promptly around 6:30... and we didn't really get to bed until 1am. Woo hoo!

It wasn't too difficult staying up since Michael decided he wanted to be up until 11pm. He went to bed around seven or so, but then around 8:30pm woke up screaming and would not be consoled. So we moved into the living room, offered him some "juice" (water), and let him stay awake until it was easy to put him to sleep without screams. I think there's a molar to blame.

I've decided that, for now, I need to keep my resolutions private. While I desperately want to share with y'all what exactly I have in mind for 2013, I'm giving it some time. If I put it all in writing immediately and want to hold myself accountable to numerous things, I will put an overwhelming amount of pressure on myself and end up caving in a matter of days, weeks... maybe months. But I wanted to share one thing with you.


This verse is Proverbs 19:21. It is my verse for 2013.

Normally I stick to Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.:

But this year I needed something that was a little more personal. I'm not saying that knowing God has wonderful things already mapped out for me isn't comforting. I just needed a verse that took in to account the fact that I can still make plans.

Maybe this makes me a little selfish... but I'm only human. I want to know that I can make plans to my heart's content that revolve around God, and know that the plans that are meant to be will be-- because the Lord's purpose will prevail.

Happy New Year! What are your New Year's resolutions?

(Imagine from Amazon.com) Let me start off by saying that I'm just in the beginning pages of this book. I'm not sure how I'll feel about it once I get further in, but I have a feeling that my attitude will only get better, not worsen.

As you may know from past posts such as my Power-Pushes, Realities, and my Super-Stay-At-Home-Mom/Wife, I have some self-image issues. Everyone these days does, and it seems more and more "popular" to admit it. Well, here I am doing just that. I've done it time and time again. And as you may have noticed, I still haven't reached my goal-weight or started making any true healthier decisions. I mean, I've been exercising when I can and not eating certain things, but I haven't been making it a priority.

Well, within the first few pages this book addressed that issue.

"But the thought of taking the plunge and signing up for another diet made me want to sit down and cry. And eat. And cry some more. Then eat some more. Well, you get the not-so-flattering picture."


This. Is. So. ME.

I keep saying over and over again that I'm going to start. That I'm going to get better. That I'm going to DO something. The thing is, I haven't really been in it. My focus has been everywhere it shouldn't be. I have been consumed by so many unimportant things that I keep forgetting the most important thing ever.

My relationship with God.

This book is all about curving my cravings. We were "made to crave"... but we were made to crave God.

"How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty! My soul yearns, event faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God," (Psalm 84:1-2).


I am not saying that this book is my perfect-fix. In fact, the author even points out that's not what the book is for. It's there to help me confront myself and what I'm lacking, what I'm letting consume me, and help me re-focus.

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Fahter is not in him. For everything in the world-- the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes, and the boasting of what he has and does-- comes not from the Father but from the world," (1 John 2:15-16).

There are so many things that this can be applied to in my life, honestly. Here I am being completely open and honest and hoping I don't scare away some of you readers. While this book is mainly for my diet, here are a couple other things I want to use its guidelines and such for.

1. My physical health. This includes diet choices, exercise, and so forth. While Christmas time may seem like the worst place to start, that also makes it the best. Never fear... I'll still be making and sharing wonderful sweets for you to enjoy/bake, but I have a feeling slowly but surely I may be making the super-horrible-not-worth-it ones less and less.

2. My mental health. I've been watching WAY too much TV. Which is funny, considering we don't have cable. Still I'll find things on Netflix or Hulu and watch entire series when I'm bored. OK, that's an exaggeration, but still. I feel like the TV takes away my focus on my family and my life, and I really need to work on that.

3. My attitude. This may fall into line with my mental health, but I have such an attitude problem sometimes. I need to stop worrying about people judging me and just be who I am meant to be through Christ.

4. My spiritual relationship. Boy have I been lacking. While we attend church (every now and then, if I'm being honest), we aren't involved. I need to find a way to be involved and start setting an example for Michael while lifting and mending my own spirit as well. Even if this makes me uncomfortable at first (I always seem to skulk in social situations I'm introducing myself into), it is a need.

Well, there you have it. I hope you'll embark on this journey with me, if not by just supporting me through posts that may relate.

I figured out where I got "power-push".

In "The Firm" workout, every time you get to the end of the move, where you put it into half-time or whatever, she calls it your "power-push". That little extra something to get your heart rate up.

That's where it comes from.

Yesterday I successfully did the whole The Firm Bootcamp video. My plan had been to do it twice a week, every week this month. I think I've done it twice this month total.

Sadly Michael has been in a funk. It makes it really hard to prepare healthier meals and exercise more when Michael won't let me put him down and Clark's working more so he's not home.

I guess, in reality, it's preparation. I mean, when Clark has a "real" job, it's not like he's going to be home all the time to help me out. That being said, I think I've learned that I have a lot of work to do to get myself in a healthier lifestyle.

I gained a pound this past week, sadly. We definitely haven't been doing our best. While we've been walking and eating healthier meals, the sweets still tend to sneak into our house... or rather one of us *cough*Clark*cough* brings them into our house.

The other night we had brownies for the first time in almost a year. Sad. Horrible. Pathetic.

Oh, but they were so tasty.

Apparently I was wrong in thinking that blogging would help keep me accountable. Of course, it isn't truly this month's fault. It just happens that there's this extra 10 to 15 pounds that I cannot shake.

Which isn't fair to say because I know, for a fact, that it's my eating that needs to improve.

So how do I do it? How do we just cut out all the bad stuff? Even if it is a slow process... for example, Clark has cut out french fries. Well, we've both cut them out, but I don't eat them that much at all, so it really doesn't count.

How can I cut out chocolate? I can't.

How can I cut out muffins, breads, cupcakes, cookies, cakes....? I can't.

I suppose the correct response would be, I don't know how.

Even if I try to revert to my extreme diet that I did in high school (well, The South Beach Diet), I don't see it working. Plain nuts make me gag at this point because I ate them so much then. Sugar free stuff makes my stomach ache and gives Michael gas (and, I imagine, a stomach ache as well). Just fruits, veggies, meats, and a little bit of dairy doesn't seem to fuel me with half the energy I need to keep up with my son.

So what do I do?

Yesterday we went hiking. Five miles in about three hours, which isn't bad considering it used to take us 2.5 hours to do five miles. And we had Michael with us. And we stopped for lunch.


It was very empowering.

It definitely picked up my mood.

This blog has taken me about two days to write, so if it goes from negative-nelly to positive-peggy that's why.

Last night, after a family-filled day, Clark and I had a chat. We talked about what we wanted to work on physically with ourselves, and even let the other have a say. I do think it's incredibly important to always be attracted to your spouse. After all, if you're not... what happens then? So, we're making plans. Plans to exercise together. Plans to improve our eating. Plans for being more responsible with money.

We're planning. And I really think that's going to help me continue with my "power-push"... or perhaps really start it.

Once again, I tend to be behind the camera more than in front of it. I promise pictures come August 1st.

Advice is still greatly appreciated!

See Power-Push #1 and Power-Push #2 to get the whole scoop!

This is my attempt to still keep myself accountable to my previous blog, Power-Push #1. We'll see how this goes.

So, it probably wasn't a fabulous idea to start my Power Push when we were headed off to visit Clark's family. My family it probably wouldn't be such a problem with. However... Clark's family doesn't exactly eat healthily, nor are they influenced to do so, either. It also didn't help that there were "two" holidays (Fourth of July, and Pop's Birthday) within our vacation. And a trip to the beach.

Ugh.

The good news is I haven't gained weight at all this month.

The bad news is I haven't lost any, either.

This month, though, is not just about losing weight. It's about changing our lifestyle. Clark and I started out rough, got better, and then got worse when I was pregnant.

Note to those who are pregnant: don't use it as an excuse to eat anything.

That's what I did. I know that's why I gained so much weight. All of a sudden it seemed like an easy way to do what I want. I kept telling myself, "I've lost a lot of weight before, I can do it again."

Within that reminder I forgot to tell myself that previously it had taken me all four years of high school to successfully get where I wanted to be.

Oops.

I have successfully managed to be more active. One thing our vacation did do is get me up and moving about more, since it wasn't like Michael and I just had the house to ourselves. Excessive alcohol hasn't been difficult to give up, either.

More exercise hasn't quite panned out the way I wanted... but, hey, everything takes time, right? The fact that the weather has been working against me and my back has been hurting for whatever reasons seem like viable excuses. For now, at least.

I guess I won't go into detail about all of my giving-ups and focusing-ons... but I actually have been doing rather well for the past 15 days.

I wish I had pictures for today, but Clark had to get up early and leave for work. So I'll post pictures from our beach trip for now and post again in a few days with current pictures.




I'm planning to do better. As long as I can get my butt in gear by the end of this month, I'll be a happy camper. And when I say that, I mean get into a better routine of healthier foods and a good amount of exercise. While having a baby makes things harder, it's definitely not an excuse... that's something else I have to keep reminding myself of.

Suggestions? Books? Blogs? Websites? Hit me with what you got! I'm definitely open to anything you can offer me.

Happy July!

I've started off every month since Michael was born saying, "This is the month!" (If not to others than to myself.)

By that I meant, this is the month I'm going to really start losing weight. This is the month I'm going to get my body back. This is the month I'm going to return to who I was (physically) before Michael was born.

Well, the truth of it is: none of those months were "the month".

Some women are blessed and get their body back in a number of a few short months. Many people say, "9 months to gain, 9 months to lose". Neither of those have been true for me.

Here Michael is just about 10 months old and I'm carrying probably ten to fifteen pounds still that don't belong.

So I thought what better way to keep myself accountable than to blog about it.

I'm not sure where I came up with the idea of a "Power-Push". For whatever reason it sounds catchy and makes complete sense to me. If it doesn't to you... well... just bear with me.

This month I'm cutting some things out and adding more of the good stuff. I kept saying before that I was going to do this, and for whatever reason it just didn't stick. Not even for lent. I kept saying I'd do this, even have a friend who has been keeping me in check, but still I have my moments and just keep them to myself.

When I say moments, I mean a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's or way too many chips or fast food or what have you. It's so easy to give into things that are easy when you have a child. The women that kept saying, "Take it from someone who knows." Well... perhaps I should have listened to them a little more.

Here's what I'm giving up for the month of July:

1. Alcohol
Don't take this the wrong way. We definitely don't drink like fish at our house. I mean more or less that when Clark and I go out on our dates, or want to "celebrate" something, it's not going to be done with alcohol. Besides, that's money wasted, too.

2. Fast Food (except when traveling)
It's so easy to go out and run errands and decide we'll get McDonald's rather than go home for the planned salad or healthy sandwich. Clark grew up in a family that gave in so easily to the temptation of the golden arches or the purple bell... so I'm stopping that here and now when it comes to just being out and about around town. Traveling is a little different... but we can at least get Subway or something when we travel.

3. Excuses
I make excuse after excuse about not exercising or giving in to some junk food. "I'm not in the mood," or "There's too much to do," or "I can't cook when there's this big of a mess." I blame everything and everyone for my inability to get off my butt and turn on an exercise video, or go outside for a walk, or get up and go to the gym. This month, that's not going to cut it.

4. Ridiculous Serving Sizes
Clark and I tend to overeat. We sit there and say how hungry we are, so we eat four servings between the two of us. This month I'm really sticking to proper portions. Six small meals a day to fill me up (three meals, three snacks if you want to put it that way). I'm going to stop overeating on the pasta, rice, or even ground turkey and start eating the correct portions of all the good stuff that I need.

5. Fattening, Sugary Sweet, and Over-the-top Recipes
Don't worry. I'll still be blogging about yummy deliciousness that you may want, but that doesn't mean I need to indulge. I'm going to avoid eating what I cook (or at least only trying one so I know they taste good). The rest will be given to neighbors, friends, coworkers, and so forth. I'll let them enjoy it, and I'll keep working towards my weight loss/ muscle gain goals.

Here's what I'm focusing on/ aiming for during the month of July:

1. More Exercise
I used to be so good at making myself exercise at least five times a week. When I was in high school, my mom and I would walk pretty much every day after school or every day during the summer. I'd also come up with a strict weight work out for myself. As time passed, I seemed to "relax" more and more. When I was pregnant, I pretty much gave up hope because of my swelling. Now I seem to slip into the mindset of "it will come off eventually", but the weight won't come off unless I work it off. So, I'm definitely coming up with an exercise schedule and sticking to it.

2. More Veggies
It seems I've stopped snacking on things like carrots and celery and grown more accustomed to anything from trail mix to muffins. Carbs. I eat WAY too many carbs. This isn't saying I'm cutting them out, I'm just making it a goal to replace one to two of my typical carb binges to something that's green... or at least in the vegetable family.

3. More Activity
This is not to be confused with #1 (More Exercise). More activity means doing more. I mean reading more, crafting more, being outside more, playing with Michael more... more activity. I tend to get in this mindset that I have nothing to do and I lounge around, even when Michael is giving me a break (by napping or eating happily in his high chair). I need to DO more. This also isn't to say that taking a break sometimes isn't necessary, but I tend to take more breaks than I really need to.

4. Positive Attitude
It's true I've become a Negative Nelly. I come up with all the possible "what-ifs" and then get depressed and become an emotional eater. I'll eat anything I want, because I'm in a bad mood. Well, what if I wasn't? I'm devoting more time to devotionals and less time to dwelling on the infinite "what ifs". Trusting God is a big one. While I may say I trust Him, I feel like if I was trusting him whole heartedly I wouldn't be so dang stressed and negative all the time.

5. Healthier Recipes
Since I'm giving up lots of the sugar, I plan on replacing it with more creative ideas that are healthy but still meet my sweet cravings. After all, I'm only human. I should say, I'm only female. Craving chocolate or any sort of sweet once in a while is the way I am, and therefore I need to find ways to meet that (once again) without indulging in things like Cooke Brownie Cupcakes.

To wrap this blog up, I'm going all out and posting my "Day 1" pictures. As these were taken before I had a shower, please forgive the fact that my head is cropped out...