It is hard to believe that Clark and I have been married for five years.

We definitely didn't take the easy route. After all, eloping to your local courthouse not even a month after starting school isn't exactly the traditional way of doing things. E-mailing your parents song lyrics (oh, yes we did) and explaining to them that you got married isn't the easiest (or most responsible) way to do things. Confronting all your friends, hurt feelings, nosey and idiotic questions, real-world-responsibilities, judgmental/ non-understanding strangers and family/friends isn't easy to do. Somehow, though, we survived, and continue to do more than just that.

If you read Married in College, then you should know how our story began. I feel so blessed to be at this stage of our life and to be doing what we do best: grow.

If getting married young has taught me anything, it's that in order to thrive, you must grow with your husband/wife. We have done a lot of growing up, and continue to do just that every single day-- mistakes and all.

Happy Anniversary to my best friend and the love of my life. Things may not always be easy, but the important thing is that we keep moving forward hand in hand. I am so blessed to have this life with you. Here's to many more anniversaries.

(2007)

(2008)

(2009)

(2010)

(2011)

(2012)

Hi there, Newfangled Housewife readers! My name is Sarah Swingle, and I'm thrilled that Emily asked me to guest post.

My blog is "What I Vegan" - where I share what I eat, what I buy, what I wear...what I vegan!

OK, stop for a moment and reflect on your reaction. What did you think of just now when you saw the word 'vegan?' Was it one of the below maybe?
• Granola-hippie-with-dreads-and-no-shoes
• Punk-rock-pierced-tattooed-type
• Angry-animal-rights-activist
• Thin-pale-weak-only-eats-celery
• Preachy-judging-nose-in-everyone’s-lunch

Yeah, I admit, I thought that too before I learned more about being vegan (and ultimately decided to eat and live this way!).

I’ve since found out that even though these stereotypes, like most, might hold a tiny kernel of truth in there somewhere, they simply don’t apply to everyone in a group. I know many vegans, and they’re actually a diverse and pretty awesome crowd.

But if you had told me in college that I'd be vegan in the future, I wouldn't have believed you (and I probably would have thought you were crazy). It seemed too weird, too ‘out there,’ and I was way too addicted to cheese to ever even think about giving it up!

But here I am now - vegan! And just a regular gal too (yay for breaking stereotypes!). I like fashion, reading, hanging out with my husband and friends, watching 30 Rock and college football, going to the beach (I live in Charleston, SC), and traveling. I'm not a chef or a nutritionist, but I make being vegan work for me.

Of course I wasn't always vegan. My transition actually started a little more than 5 years ago. After hearing a gross fact about dairy milk from a friend, I started researching how animals are treated in agriculture and the other effects that a meat-and-dairy-heavy diet has on things I care about (my own health and the environment included). Even though my husband Hanes and I had been together for almost seven years, we had been married for a little less than one year at this point, and my new interests took him by surprise. They took me by surprise too, really.

Hanes grew up in a Southern household, so naturally his diet was 'meat and potatoes' - bacon and eggs for breakfast, a hot dog or cheeseburger for lunch, a chicken dish of some sort for dinner - this was a typical day, just like it is for many Southern families. So when I broke the news to him that I thought I wanted to become vegetarian, he was concerned and taken aback. Even aside from his feelings about the issue, there was the practical problem of what in the world would we make for dinner?!

Did we have arguments? Yes. Could it have gone terribly wrong for our marriage? Yes. I admit that my transition was hard on our relationship for a few months there. I was undergoing a philosophical shift after so many years of being together, and it took us by surprise. We weren't sure how to deal with it.

Like Emily and Clark, Hanes and I got married young (I was barely 21 and he was the ripe old age of 21 and 9 months). Our family was very supportive, but others would say things like, "Getting married in college? Good luck." "People change and grow away from each other. Are you sure you want to make that commitment so early?" "It's silly to get married so young."

Did we listen? No. Did we experience some of that changing and growing that could have pulled us apart? Yes (even though I didn't want to admit it). But seven years after our wedding, I'm so glad we didn't listen. We worked together and came out of my vegetarian (and then vegan) transition experience stronger and even more bonded than before.

I'm grateful that Hanes was open-minded enough and loved me so much that he was willing to look through those vegan stereotypes and the scariness of change to come with me on this journey. I never thought it would happen, but after learning about the benefits and taking in all the information for himself, my meat-and-potatoes hubby is vegan himself now. (That just proves to me that anything is possible!)

So, what are those benefits of a vegan diet that were so compelling to both of us?

- Health Benefits:
A vegetarian or vegan diet can lower your risks of certain cancers, diabetes, heart disease and more. The American Dietetic Association says that not only are vegan diets “healthful, nutritionally adequate, and may provide health benefits in the prevention and treatment of certain diseases,” but that they are also “appropriate for individuals during all stages of the life cycle, including pregnancy, lactation, infancy, childhood, and adolescence, and for athletes.”

Vegetarians and vegans also tend to have lower body mass indexes, so it's a great way to lose weight. For more info on vegan health, click here. Also, a great film that talks all about the health benefits in an entertaining way is Forks Over Knives, available for free on Hulu.com.

- Environmental Benefits:
If every American went meatless just one meal a week, it would be like taking half a million cars off the road! Isn’t that amazing? Livestock causes 18% of greenhouse gas emissions, which is more than the entire transport sector put together. That's a big impact for a small action.

- Benefits to Animals:
This was the most important one to me. Animal agriculture today isn’t what it was on our grandparents’ farms.

Ninety nine percent of meat in the US is from factory farms – nasty places where animals suffer tremendously (note: this link is not graphic) before they're slaughtered. I just couldn’t stand the thought that I was causing harm to animals who are just as smart and sassy as my own dog and cats. (Did you know pigs have an IQ higher than dogs? I didn't!)

It took me a while to actually embrace the change of a vegetarian and then vegan diet. It was a slow process of learning, kicking my cheese addiction, and figuring out what worked for me. But in the end, it did work for me!

And it could work for you too, as much or as little as you want! It's important to realize that vegan isn’t all or nothing. You can incorporate healthy and delicious vegan foods into your life one meal at a time.

A great place to start is Meatless Monday, an international campaign that encourages people to cut down on their meat consumption one day a week. Celebrities like Oprah, Jessica Simpson, Olivia Wilde, Paul McCartney, Gwyneth Paltrow, and even chefs Mario Batali and Giada De Laurentiis promote and participate in Meatless Mondays.

Going meatless one day a week is actually easier to do than you might think. You don't even have to try a new recipe - you can use one of your favorites just by replacing the meat with a meat substitute. Spaghetti with meat sauce? Use Boca Burger meatless crumbles instead. Your recipe calls for chicken broth? Use vegetable broth or "No Chicken Broth" - equally delicious! And it’s all available at almost every grocery store, not just at “natural” foods stores.

Of course you can always try something different. Here are a few resources for all sorts of recipes from creamy fettucine alfredo to decadent chocolate desserts.

• VegWeb.com - Search the world's largest collection of vegetarian recipes here for whatever it is you’re craving!
• Chef Chloe – She’s an adorable vegan chef with mouth-watering and visually appealing recipes ranging from Hawaiian Sloppy Joes to Salted Caramel Pretzel Ice Cream.
• A Guide to Meat Free Meals - This is from the Humane Society of the United States and is free to download with lots of yummy recipes, including creamy mac and ‘cheese’ and Rocky Road cupcakes, and even tips for eating out.

I want to share one of my favorite things to eat. It’s a vegetable that was the childhood enemy of millions of people around the globe: The Brussels Sprout.

Despite their bad reputation, they're incredibly healthy for you, an easy side to a meal (I usually make red curry quinoa to go with it), and absolutely delicious when prepared simply and well, like below.

*Look! It's smiling at you. Your Brussels sprouts will love you back!*

Happy Brussels Sprouts

1 pound of Brussels sprouts
2 tblsp. Earth Balance buttery spread (a vegan butter that tastes just like the real thing, available at regular grocery stores)
Salt and pepper to taste

1. Thoroughly rinse the Brussles sprouts
2. Cut the stem from each Brussels sprout and pull away any loose or yellow leaves
3. Chop them in half, length-wise.
4. Melt the Earth Balance buttery spread over medium-low heat in a large pan
5. Place the Brussels sprouts face down in the pan, stirring them around occasionally. Sprinkle the salt and pepper over them.
6. Cook the Brussels sprouts until they're browned nicely
7. Enjoy this new favorite! :)

Here's a picture of the finished Brussels sprouts with red curry quinoa. Delicious and filling!

Incorporating vegan food into your life is easy and makes you feel great. It's a win-win-win for your and your family's health, the animals, and the planet.

To making it work for you!

Sarah



P.S. For about a year, I kept a Facebook album of photos of what I eat as a vegan, which eventually led to my “What I Vegan” blog! To see my pictures of the wide variety of vegan foods I enjoy, click here!

When one of my closest friend's inquired about being a guest blogger, there was no way I could turn her down. This woman is one of the most amazing ones I've ever met. Not only does she always push me to do better than my best, but she is one of the most understanding, devoted, loving... I could gush on and on and on... women to everyone she meets. So, without further a do, meet Nikki.

The Calling of a Wife
(Nikki and her fiance, Addison.)

Not to toot my own horn, but I’m a pretty driven person. It’s an addiction really. I've won journalism awards, I've presented at international conferences, I've been punched by a photographer who was trying to steal my spot when I was taking a great picture of Michelle Obama. But after years of living with an immense pride and addiction to success (read: fear of failure), I have finally realized a calling God has truly placed on my life.

Above all else, I am meant to be the world's greatest wife to my husband and eventually mother to our children.

I never realized being a wife was such a calling until this past year during my engagement. I had been raised to be a kick butt, independent woman who makes her own opportunities and changes the world. No man would get in the way of that ever.
(Nikki interning at Parents Magazine in NYC.)

And so, I found a man who supported me and my dreams, and as God showed me, he was the man I was meant to marry. Over time, my dreams started to change. Sure, I’m still a writer. Yes, I still make my own opportunities and have big plans. But I’ve realized if your family suffers…… what’s the point?
(Addison's proposal.)

It took me a while to get to this place. And looking back on it, I now understand what my premarital counselors were meaning when they suggested, "We think you may be a bit delusional."

Needless to say, almost a year later-- a year filled with a hell you cannot even begin to imagine-- I was nearly reduced to tears when I read the words in parentheses after a sentence my premarital counselor had written about something I had done: “(signs of a good wife).”

Even though I thought I wasn't delusional back then during that first pre-marital counseling session, I cannot deny that this year leading up to my wedding, I probably learned more about life, love and commitment than I think most engaged couples do before the big day.

You see, the year or months before a couple's wedding is usually used for making plans. You plan the wedding. You plan the honeymoon. You plan your first home and even whose family you'll spend the first holidays with. It's all about making plans. For my type-a personality that is all about planning the future, I had this down pat. Everything was going to be perfect. Addison was going to finish his last semester of school by December, I was already working a great job in Florida, we were paying for a townhouse in cash near my job and he would move from NC to FL after graduation. We'd live there for 5 years, reassess and probably move back to NC to start raising a family. It was a sound plan, we thought.

Well, November, Addison's mother was diagnosed with leukemia. It was a huge blow and shock to both of us and he could barely focus on anything at school. Eventually it was decided it would be best for him and his family if he withdrew from school to be his mother's caretaker. Addison stayed by her side for months. He slept next to her bed on a couch in the hospital. He ate hospital food and watched her soap operas with her. The only breaks he'd take would be for a phone call or web cam with me. It was definitely a rough time and it definitely changed our plans. How/when would Addison finish school? He didn't even want to talk about it until we knew more about his Mom. One thing was for sure. That beautiful townhouse we were about to buy in cash...we wouldn't be getting it. And in a week, someone else snatched it up.

What was worse was how I was seemingly harassed by "well-meaning people." Every old lady on the planet had a comment about the situation they knew virtually nothing about.

"He's not graduating college? Are you sure you still want to marry him?"

No. Of course not since God says, “Thou shalt not marry a non-college graduate.” That makes SO much sense.

"You know, he's not making you a priority right now."

No duh. His mother's dying. SHE is supposed to be his priority.

Oh…and my “favorite” rude statement was when his mother actually did pass away: “That’s going to be tough with him mourning this year. Are you still sure you want to marry him?”

Um… seriously? I’m pretty sure that is the dumbest thing you could possibly ever say to anyone. Ever.

People were ridiculous about the whole thing and it really just beat me down a lot. But honestly, while difficult, Addison’s devotion to his mother made me love him more even though I heard comments like this non-stop. I knew that his commitment to family was unbreakable. When everything was happening in the beginning, he told me that it was his duty as a son to take care of his parents, but when we got married, we'd find a solution that would be best for everyone since he said his priorities would change when I became his wife. This whole year, I grew a huge respect for Addison beyond anything anyone could imagine.

When I read posts on Facebook from newlyweds talking about how magical newlywed life is because it's like one big "party" or "sleepover" I just shake my head a bit. Sure, I'm not married yet, and yes I do want at least a few moments of bliss, but if there's anything I've learned this year, it's that love is this unconditional force that carries you through the most horrible parts of life. I've seen my fiancé break down completely during this whole ordeal. I held his hand as we watched his mother die in the hospital and I learned to tie a man’s necktie through Youtube so I could help him get dressed the morning of the funeral. This year has been hard. At times, we lashed out at each other over webcams. Other times, we were so tired we couldn’t even talk. But we pulled through and I think our marriage will be stronger for it.

Technically we have one session of premarital counseling left. We were unable to finish it because our plans had changed (big shocker). But like Addison says, "I think this year has been pre-marital counseling enough."

Now with a month until the wedding and his mother's funeral a month ago, we're picking up the pieces of the hard year that has happened and are trying to move on the best we can. He wants to finish school, which I think whole heartedly he deserves to finish the way he wants to. And of course everyone not involved who has a comment pipes in with their doubting statements. But yes, I'm picking up everything and moving back to North Carolina. Yes, that means I have to lose my job. Yes, that means life will be a little more uncertain than we had hoped starting our marriage would be.

We've learned a lot this year about each other. But if it's one thing we've learned the most, it's that God is going to be the center of our marriage. We had always heard that and of course it's a no-brainer to say, but I know I didn't really realize it's gravity until I had to pick up everything, give up everything, and step out in faith in order to marry the person I know God wants me to marry. Marriage isn’t just a thing you do. It’s a calling. I don’t think people understand that as much anymore.

While people won’t always agree with my decisions and will always say their doubtful comments, I know what I’ve been called to do and I have faith that if I follow God, then it’ll be alright.


Make sure to check out Nikki's blog Mrs. Healthy Ever After that launches July 29th, after she's officially married! Congratulations (in advance), Nikki and Addison!