M.I.C.: Sorority Blues

1:52 PM

As Clark prepared to head off to Boot Camp, things got a little tricky. Preparing for my spouse to be gone for thirteen weeks would be difficult alone, but taking into account that I really wouldn't have access to him for that long (communication wise) was definitely trying on my nerves.

I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him. I think we had about ten days, maybe it was a little longer than that, in between the time he told me when he was going, and when he was going.

Clark realized (a bit late) that he was going to be gone for my birthday. He decided he wanted to take me to the zoo as an early birthday trip. The problem was the only day we could go was a required sorority function. I don't remember at this point if it was a fundraiser, meeting, or what, but it was required.

Initially I did have to work that day. So I sent e-mails to the appropriate people and was excused from the event. However, I then got out of work. I may have neglected to tell the appropriate sorority people because I wanted to go to the zoo with my husband. If I had been extra sneaky, I could have withheld the information entirely. Oh, but Facebook. I mean, how could I resist posting pictures of going to the zoo?

(March 2009)

(Elephants are my absolute favorite.)

Sorority sisters got mad. Some didn't understand why I was excused to go to the zoo with my husband and they weren't excused for other things.

This was the first thing that started the "sorority blues."

Looking back, I totally understand why many of them were upset. I was excused from an event to go have fun, and shouldn't have been an exception-- even if my husband was shipping off to bootcamp for thirteen weeks. I still think it should have been somewhat understandable, but like with many other corporations and such, there can't be special circumstances all the time simply because of your marital status (or what have you).

Next was a mixer. I had volunteered to "tap" for this big party/dance/mixer because I didn't want to at formal. The only problem was, this was the last mixer before Clark left. Suddenly I didn't want to be required to stick around ALL night just to make sure other sisters didn't get out of control with their drinking. I wanted to be home, cuddling with the hubs. So, I went, I got the low-down of what I was supposed to do... and I left early.

Technically, I was never told I had to stay all night. Technically, I never signed the paper agreeing to "tap" at a function, or what it entailed. Technically, no one cared.

So, the next day I was called to meet our VP, which happened to be one of my semi-decent friends, and was handed a letter for "J-Board" (Judicial Board). AKA, I had to meet with the pres, vp, and someone else and explain myself and possibly face consequences.

To me, it was pretty laughable. Of course, I didn't tell them that. Sisters had been "J-Boarded" for much worse than leaving a party early.

Here's the thing, though. Other sisters were not happy. After all, I wasn't living up to my sorority duties. I was fully focused on my marriage and spending time with my husband before he left. I didn't care what the sorority expected of me, I only cared about my marriage. This should be somewhat understandable, right? Maybe. I do know it was somewhat immature, and that I should have tried to balance. But, honestly, what's more important? A sorority, or a marriage?

Marriage. Duh.

So, when I met with the "J-Board", I explained that I did have to initially work but then got out of it and went to the zoo, forgetting the duty to the sorority. When it came to "tapping", I stated that I didn't have any documents that told me what I was required to do, and I'm pretty sure I never signed one. However, I offered to "tap" at formal, since Clark wasn't going to be able to be there, anyway.

That seemed to work.

The thing that bugged me the most? Technically the "J-Board" was just for the tapping, but they brought up the zoo incident as well. On top of that, apparently a fellow sister had accused Clark of using a fake ID at one of the functions he was at.

I. Was. Livid.

Clark using a fake ID meant I could get kicked out. That's not what bothered me. What bothered me is that someone actually suggested that Clark did such a thing. More than once I considered demanding who said it, but I knew they wouldn't tell me... so it didn't matter. I just couldn't believe someone in the sorority would do such a thing.

And then I thought about how much I hadn't been doing with/for the sorority... and part of me believed it. I started wondering if the sorority really was the right place for me. After all, most of the girls were interested in three things:

1. Boys
2. Getting Drunk
3. Getting Drunk with Boys

I'm not saying that all sororities are like this, at all. Or that all the girls in that sorority were, either. There just really was no structure to our sorority, and we had a severe lack of adult supervision within the Greek system as it was at my college.

What I am saying, is that the sorority wasn't starting to look as glamorous as it did to begin with to this married-young-college-student. I was realizing that it was leading me farther away from things that were important (God, my marriage, school) and trying to get me to focus on other things instead.

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  1. When I think back to how your sorority treated you, my blood still boils. There's supposed to be a sisterhood. There's supposed to be support and being there for each other. While I think this situation was definitely an exception, even if the sorority didnt--- I think your sisters should have offered you waaaay more support than they did. When you "slipped up" they should have been like "hey girl, what's going on. Things aren't normal. What can happen to get you back on the right track? Do you need anything?"

    Not... "Oh, your husband is leaving? How dare you act like we're not important."

    Like I said...blood still boils -_-