I know I have several posts on my body-after-baby and getting in shape and clean eating and so on and so forth and so on....

Yeah. I know.

Part of it is because body care is so important to me. Sometimes you wouldn't know it. I mean, it's not like I'm some built muscular female, or a super thin model, but I do try to pay attention to what goes into my body. What's good for you. What's not. This is not to say I don't enjoy my pizza or ice cream like any other person. I just... I try.

But the key word in all of that is try.

I am not the person for anyone to look to when it comes to clean eating. My 100 Days of Real Food journey ended at about 30. I was so tired and got sick of trying to make everything myself and keep up with it all, that I gave up. I hate hearing the excuse that, "eating organic is too expensive"... but I was making that excuse. It didn't matter that the site has a budget-friendly plan... I was tired. Trying to get Michael to eat all these new foods (that are clearly better for him than his Gerber puffs) and fighting him on all of it was sucking all my energy, so I gave up.

You may remember when I did the one post on Made to Crave. I was so into it and realizing this journey that I felt God was putting before me, which inspired my 100 Days of Real Food kick. Well, exhaustion and taking part in multiple Bible studies and getting involved and making friends lead me away from the book. I stopped looking at it like a spiritual journey and thought, "I will accept my body, and in time it will return to where I want it to be."

Well, as we all know our bodies don't magically change. It does take work. Being active and healthy is a lifestyle choice, not just something that happens overnight.

Then I found this verse:

Photo taken from the Proverbs 31 Ministries Facebook Page.

Now, I'm sure that this verse has multiple meanings on so many different levels, but it spoke to me about my eating and exercise habits. If I don't take care of my body, what does that mean with my relationship with God?

This is where I was headed with my Made to Crave. Food is a struggle with me. It always has been. Since I was little I have battled over-eating and emotionally-eating and more. When I am in a hard situation, or have had a bad day, I honestly don't turn to God most of the all the time. I turn to food. Cookies, chips, chocolate chips, bread, juice... it doesn't even have to be something I really, truly want or like. If it's in the house, it's fair game.

What does this mean about my relationship with God?

It means I'm cheating on Him with food.

Maybe you disagree, and maybe you're rolling your eyes. All I can say, is that lately I've really been fighting this battle again. I have yet to figure out if I'm winning or losing.

The pint of strawberries and 1/4 bag of chocolate chips that's missing from last night to me says I'm losing. But that could be me being too hard on myself...maybe?

This is not a post about promising a new diet fad, or saying I'm picking up the "real food" challenge again. It's simply me confessing one of the hardest things I'm always facing: food.

Food. I love food. I love cooking, baking, photographing, and eating it. It is an indulgence that I always give into.

For my #TBT I'm sharing three pictures of me at my "best". Times where I was exercising daily, eating healthy foods, and paying attention to my body in general. While these pictures (and others) offer motivation sometimes, it isn't enough. I think keeping in mind that I want to keep my body healthy and available for God's use is, but it is something I must remind myself daily. This isn't just about food. For me, it's a spiritual battle. Choosing God over the deceptively delicious packaged foods that offer "comfort" when I'm struggling.


What do you struggle with the most?