My Vegan Banana Blueberry Muffins recipe failed miserably. I have learned that using two bananas instead of three or four is not good enough when you don't have anything else to "bind" the muffins together. They came out gooey, crumbling, and truly falling to pieces. Though the crumbs tasted rather good, the recipe still needs mending.

After sitting around staring at my computer screen I decided I needed to do something. I cleaned up the kitchen, exercised, read some of Lady in the Tower, and caught up on a few e-mails. Finally, after feeling like there was nothing to do and my day was going to be wasted, I watched Julie & Julia.

If you haven't watched the movie yet, you have to. It is positively inspiring for authors who just don't know where their careers are headed... especially if your career doesn't exist just yet. I can't pretend that I'm on the level of Julia Child with my cooking, and I can't say I can compare my writing to Julie Powell's (mostly because our styles are different, from what I have read of hers, and also because I have yet to read her book). I think I am a bit more in love with Amy Adams as Julie Powell than I am with the true Julie Powell. This, of course, I don't really know just yet. I'm only speculating.

I had a conversation with an old friend yesterday and she asked me about my writing. When I told her all I had as work-in-progresses, she told me I need to make up my mind. I am dipping my pen in too many genres and cannot decide on exactly what type of writer I want to be. Some friends have told me I have a future in writing about my life and all that has been a part of it, and others have told me to stick to writing my fairy tales and historical fiction.

Thanks for the help.

It's true that if you want to be published you should probably have an idea of what you want to write and stick with it. This meaning that if you want to write cookbooks, stick to cookbooks. If you want to write children's stories, chick to children's stories. If you want to write teen novels, stick to teen novels. Ultimately my thoughts are always scattered and I start one project, get bored, and then start another. I am not Julie Powell in the sense that I have a goal or deadline or what have you, I'm just writing hoping someone, somewhere enjoys it. If someone, somewhere enjoys it and recommends it to someone else, somewhere else... then I guess I've done a good job. If not, life goes on.

The upcoming event that is my college graduation seems terrifying. I'm faced with decisions to make, such as if I'm going to get a "real" job or if I'm going to truly pursue writing. It has been taking up so much space in my brain that it's hard for me to really focus on anything else. Like Julie, and Julia, it makes me question myself. What am I going to do once I have time to do something other than school work? What am I going to do if I reach age 30 or 37 and still have nothing to claim as an accomplishment other than getting through college? I just don't want that.

I know so many people, if not all people, have the same fears as I do. I know many people who have wanted to be something their entire lives, and lucky for them it seems to happen. People who want to be teachers become teachers, people who want to be doctors become doctors, people who want to be lawyers become lawyers, and so on. All these people who have wanted to do something "practical" all their lives make it look easy. Well, I've wanted to be a writer all of my life... but trust me... it's not easy. It's easy to write, yes. But it's not easy to get published.

Lucky for me, I have supportive friends and family who are always on board with whatever projects I have at hand. Not to mention I, like Julia Child, have a phenomenal husband who is doing everything he can to support us so I can work at my impossible dream of becoming a writer.

I don't say impossible like it's never going to happen, I just say impossible because it makes me want to work even harder to prove that it's possible. Does that make sense? I hope so.